Unrequited?

     "How can one explain the rarity of finding love in  7+ billion people, and then the pain of it being unrequited"

               Pam was 40, well settled in her career . She was a flamboyant personality who would excel at her job. She made her way to her current job in one of the top firms in US through extreme hardship; burning the midnight oil; formerly working in super-marts just so that her wages would be sufficient for her personal expenses. Being a brilliant student, paying college fees was quite easy owing to scholarships which US universities bestowed on intelligence like hers. She was a woman of her own choice and if  there was something she disliked, it would be  settling or accepting someone else's choices forced upon her. At work, her boss would completely trust her with the deliverables, knowing not to interfere much once assigned tasks. She had her own way to achieve those but at the end of the day, her deliverables would be of top notch quality. She came across as a very determined, strong and a goal oriented woman who would cross milestone after milestone, with an undaunting spirit to knock down the roadblocks on her path. For a goal-oriented woman like her, feelings of love and marriage remained a remote concept; or wait, had she found the one yet?

             Ronit(34), who just graduated with a Phd.(Computer Science) from the top grad school in the, struggled no less being an immigrant, to complete his strenuous coursework and was among the very few who made it to Pam's team post graduation. Such were his communication skills that Pam was instantly convinced on having him in their team. He would excel at his tasks, completing each of his deliverable a day before his deadline. The quality which differentiated him from others was his drive to work was not for himself but driven by empathy. He believed that its not always about the work, it is about the people whom you work for/with which gives you a greater satisfaction. He would try to fill in where Pam would not fit well; a person who brought a fresh skillset and mind to tackle problems innovatively .Ronit not only outperformed his role but also ensured he got his leader's(Pam's) work done, without her intervention.He had a structured thought process to each problem ensuring that the solution is all rounded and work-wise he was impressive overall.
       

pic credits: torange.biz

         As days passed, Pam began to see lines blurring between her professional and personal life when it came to Ronit. A woman who would never blink an eye at men was suddenly awestruck. She liked being around Ronit, observe him work and experience the flair with which he lived life overall. This went on to a point of no return and she began exhibiting these feelings for him in ways he couldn't fathom. Sometimes just a blank look while he spoke, sometimes not answering IM
messages on purpose(so that he took note) and followed up, sometimes its just a few questions on how personal life was going.Sometimes, they would fight over the solutions to a problem which perplexed Ronit further. One day Ronit decided to have a conversation with her on these issues to understand the rationale. Did Ronit understand her feelings or did her feelings go unrequited? What do you think, let the writer in you speak....
                                                                                                                                                                                                          
                             
     
     

Ideal Life?

                   
                   Scathing summers followed by torrential rains, this is something which Rick did not appreciate. Left alone, high and dry in the heat, each day would count as he struggled to earn few bucks just so that he could feed his family. His days were successful if he could feed his entire family a satiating meal.  He would often look at the huge glass buildings and wonder what happened in these edifices. One thing he could not think of at his stage is getting into one such building and fending for his life there; for his lack of education. For him, this was an ideal life, he felt people wearing suits/blazers were living a life which any person would desire.
                     Rachael on the other hand, worked in the edifice which Rick admired. She would get down from her Mercedes at 9 AM and her day would begin with a few salutes by her subordinates and a cup of tea. She was a star performer at office and folks respect her for what she is. 10 hours a day, Rachael would have a time of her life but one thing she did not look forward to is going home and spending time with self.  She was 31 and a successful professional at work but one thing she could never achieve is having a company of a loved one with whom she can share her joys and sorrows. Rachael's Father passed away when she was 20 years old and she huddled her way up by hard work. Her typical day at home would be swallow a few pills to curb diabetes, cook food which does not add to her health issues and eventually get done with the day. She had a negligible social life and weekends would be just as unkempt because she would have nothing to do and wait for a Monday.
                   Who lived an ideal life? Is it Rachael or Rick? Rick had a family to look forward to but his struggles were to feed them. He imagined that people like Rachael lived an ideal life, getting down from an expensive car, getting respect from her subordinates and being successful professionally. Little did Rick know the costs Rachael had to pay to get there, it came at a cost of not having a loved one, having lost her parents and currently, having none to look forward to.
               This reminds me of the adage: -  'The grass is greener on the other side of the fence'. We might objectively see one aspect of a person and feel he/she has achieved it holistically and is living a very good life. What is a good life after-all? Again it depends, for some, it is money, for some it is satisfaction through different forms which money might not bring and for others, it is as simple as having a family to look forward to. One of the greatest flaws in a human being is to look at one aspect of someone else's life, without understanding the kind of sacrifices involved. Although I would concur that Rick's basic necessities were under threat but his perspective of Rachael's life was far from reality. Nobody lives an ideal life, and everything they have currently is accounted by tremendous amount of sacrifices in various forms. As I end this article, I remember the success iceberg:

                    

Yours half'ly'..

    I am sharing a Half relationship story at BlogAdda in association with #HalfGirlfriend

                     How does it feel to be half committed? It seems strange and absurd at the same time. Such was the story of Rakesh and Priya who were neither into a relationship nor could remain friends. It all started when they met in a camp in Kashmir trapped by their captivators. They had been told that they have limited time till the government met their demands and would later be slaughtered mercilessly. Priya was a happy go-lucky type while Rakesh was a serious guy. Their hands were tied around the same pillar in that area. As Priya was blabbering some words, Rakesh grew curious and heard this, "I have so many unfulfilled wishes to travel around the world, to meet new people and enjoy life". This caught Rakesh's attention and he asked facing the other side, "What is your name, you seem to be more worried about fulfilling your wishes than about an instant death that awaits us". Rakesh was unable to see her face but he fell in love with the girl's attitude and voice.             

             Fortunately, the government and the captivators reached an agreement and they were released. Rakesh, being an enthusiastic person decided to take the conversation forward and asked her phone number, residence and broached up a casual conversation. To Rakesh's pleasure, Priya and he lived in the same locality just a few kilometers away. They started talking and Priya too started liking Rakesh for some of qualities like immense caring, respect for women and they had a common interest; travelling. 

                 Their conversations would endlessly continue crossing barriers of time and it seemed like this relationship was to be shaped like no other. Not that Priya did not know that Rakesh was to ask her out one day; it only struck her mind that her family would never accept Rakesh because he belonged to a different caste. Priya knew that her family would be unaccepting to Rakesh's proposal. Keeping this in mind, after intense talks for about 2 months, Priya one day showed the red flag to Rakesh. Rakesh was stumped and was curious to know about the reason. Priya simply started ignoring him thinking that this will absolve her of hurting his expectations. Little did she know that this was killing her from inside too.         

                Finally one fine day, after desperate attempts by Rakesh to get in touch with her, she picked up the call much to Rakesh's surprise. There was a surge of emotions for Rakesh who was left in the dark about her sudden ignorance of his presence. The first lines he asked were, "What do I mean to you? Tell me if you can live peacefully in my absence? Why are you ignoring me?" His sincere attempts solicited some sincere response from her too. She replied, "Look Rakesh, I too feel for you and these days have been very difficult for me. I never have felt so vulnerable in life from anyone. But you should know that my folks at home here wont accept our relationship. Its not just a bond between you and me but also between families and I, for one, cannot afford to go against their wishes completely. I think we should call it off." Rakesh said, " What is this unnamed relationship we shared, we were never committed nor just friends, i think it was more than that". Priya replied, " I was yours at one point of time, only restricted by societal norms and an urge to not hurt my parents. We are breaking off a relationship in which I was your half girlfriend, you can say."

           What happened later on is a different story altogether. Priya got married to a boy of her caste and Rakesh to another girl of his choice. Their conversations would continue though and this unnamed relationship made its presence felt later on too. Although not bound by any formal relationship in the past, Priya and Rakesh had something in their heart for each other, a brewing unrealized relationship started complicating each other's life. Finally, they mutually decided to stop talking too for the betterment of their lives with respective spouses. Their half-girlfriend-half-boyfriend relationship was definitely troubling them constantly but they learnt to suppress it and live in their present life. It remained an unrealized dream for both; perhaps to be realised in the next life?

Deciphering A Mother's Love

         
                Rohit was a bright young student. He would caste a positive vibe where ever he went. He was a crowd puller had a penchant for learning new things related to computers and programming.It wouldn't be odd to say that he was destined to have a good future. Everyone, including his coworkers were of the opinion that the grass was green for him.
                  For a person with such an aesthetic personality, it wouldn't be hard to believe that his soulmate was already in his life at the age of 20.  He had first met her in his college library. It took him just minutes to broach up a conversation with her where others would have still counted on their luck for a topic to broach a conversation upon. Within no time she caught hold of his aura and intense passion but she wasn't an easy fish either. Rohit was determined to have her in his life and after days of putting in 'efforts' to know her more, she finally agreed to be his girlfriend.
                        Dedication was in his veins and he left no stone unturned to keep his girlfriend very happy. His dedication was such that even his life cost him nothing when it came to fulfilling her wishes.Being from the Indian society where caste, creed etc still count, Rohit was caught in the quagmire of either going against his family's wishes or else against his own. He knew that he had chosen her after gauging her for certain qualities which he always wished to see in his other half. His father was ill with Alzheimer's disease but his mother was healthy woman and she would form the backbone of the family.
                     Rohit's girlfriend was so demanding that Rohit would break down and start crying at times; having succumbed to their pressure  . He couldnt be bogged down ever in his professional life by anyone but here was a person who managed to make him bog down completely and shatter him to pieces. He was weakened by the emotions he had for her. This did not mean that she was bad, just that her nature was so, extremely demanding. Rohit had to weave a yarn each time he would meet his girlfriend as many other Indians do but not because of their orthodoxy but their grave concern of the attitude of the girl. They would often say, "She is making so many demands now, I cannot imagine what can happen in the future if this behaviour persists."
                    Rohit was once planning a trip with his girlfriend and her family to Manali. As expected, he couldn't convince his mother to let him go. His mother pleaded him not to go as she had an apparent intuition of loosing her son. "I will never let you go for I am sure something bad is going to happen and I am already sensing it. It's a mothers intuition beta and I dont think you are/will be able to understand it after being totally enamored by that girl." Rohit was cunning, he took advantage of his ignorant mother and somehow spun a yarn that he needs to attend a training for official purposes and that couldn't be missed.
              "I know what you are up-to and will not allow you to go at any cost", his mother said in utter helplessness.She was so stubborn and adamant that even if Rohit was 'not offered a job by anyone because of not attending these "trainings"', she wouldnt let him go. Somehow, after a lot of persuation and insistence, Rohit had made up his mothers mind and despite her repeated obviating behaviour, he left.
                  His mother would count each of the 9 days and wait for his routine call at about 9 PM daily. Such was a mothers helplessness caused by being in the dark despite knowing the truth. On the 4th day of his 9 day trip, Rohit was on his way to Chandigarh. A mob of 10 barged in the compartment of the train, each carrying a AK-47. As Rohit was having a co-ordial conversation with his girlfriend and her family, they suddenly, out of the blue pointed the tip of their gun on his forehead and shot 4 bullets into his brain. One by one, they eliminated each of the his co-passengers with no one to spare.

                It was 9 PM and his mother was getting restless with a magnitude of 100 increasing with each minute. At about 9:01 PM she tried reaching Rohit on his cell but such was her fate, you call it, the phone never even rang once. At 9:15, tears started flowing from her eyes beyond her control; his father could only understand vaguely that he had actually lost his son forever, the ever-bright, ever shining son who would have surely made his world wonderful, atleast that is what he believed knowing that he would never live to understand when his son made it big. Rohit's mom rushed to the police station and after several investigations, she finally got to know the truth. Rohit was no more, she was flabbergasted, torn and even the tears which hadn't stopped rolling from her cheeks from a long time couldn't take away the heaviness of loosing her son.
Hadn't she told him not to go?Hadn't her so-called 'baseless' intuition predict her gem to loose its shine?All she wished for now is death for herself, what remains of  a mother without her son? a mother who lives, breathes and struggles to keep her children safe. Even God, looking at her untiring efforts bestows these intuitions on her which are nothing but foreboding instincts.Can any love surpass this purity and dedication that even God is forced to betray the laws of logic by bestowing intuition?

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 For once, realise that others may desert you and make you feeble because it is known that if you do not do certain things for them, you stand a chance of loosing them. Clearly, Rohit betrayed his mother because he knew one thing for sure that he will never loose his mother come what may.
I appeal to all my readers vehemently to decipher and respect a mothers emotions and to love her back equally.

Sadism

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               These words "sad","sadism" has so much of negativity in it. Even when I hear them, it makes me emotionally nauseatic. The worst part is that such people cannot be avoided(difficult to detect). These people are so damaging that they try their best to rip you apart emotionally. My observation has been that sadistic people can never think good about the people who matter the most in their life as well. They find pleasure in their partner craving for support from them, in portraying their partner as the accused in all the bad things done to them, roaming about freely garnering sympathy and love from all other people but his/her partner. Let me narrate a short fictional story supporting all the above claims.
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                 Jack and Tim were two good friends. They became very close to each other in their engineering college days. Similar conditions, similar upbringing were the two factors which united them. Their taste for music was another uniting point. In the second quarter of the first year, their bond was as strong as it could get. Tim was in a relationship since a year or so and jack would be very happy at this and always ask him about his experiences.Tim would talk more about  the negative aspects and would complain about issues which gravely concerned him. It so happened that 'Jina', Tim's girlfriend landed up in the same class as Jack and Tim.
                 The very first impressions of Jina was very encouraging to Jack. He thought her to be a great person with good values inculcated. In real senses she was the greatest sadist person he could ever meet. Often she would complain about Tim and his compulsive behaviour which would make Jack wonder about his good friend's character. She tried her best to get close with Jack owing to his nature portraying Tim as the villan of the whole episode and experience of him in her life. The worst part would be that Tim would scold her in front Jack and that would warrant Jina's claims even more. The reality was that not all the claims which Jina had made were true. She was just a sadist trying to seek the attention and sympathy of others around so that Tim could be cornered at the right time by everyone.
                 One fine day, Jack, being misled by Jina's accusations on his good friend, confronted him and had a heated conversation. Seldom did they know that Jina was a sadist was silently enjoying seeing this. Actually Jack and Tim were two fools who were fighting for a person who never thought out of her confines; who would side with a person she found 'profitable' and would like to keep all her options open. Do sadists have true feelings? I dont think so, their feelings are also driven by motives and attention-seeking behaviour.  Tim and Jack separated out and were no longer in talking conditions. Tim, was however drenched in feelings for Jina so he couldn't leave her. In the whole scenario, Tim was either blind because of his feelings or was selfish himself to separate out with Jack and siding with a sadist.
                    Jina meanwhile was enjoying the romance with Tim and a the sametime she could see that Jack was truly in a sorrowful state on the incidents which had happened. She was "happy" that there were two guys fighting for her.Once when she met Jack outside college she had even said, "Why are you leaving, by doing so you are giving the other one an opportuity to get close." Can you imagine this?Her plight was such that she couldnt se two friends split because of her insanity but she wanted to enjoy the play of seperation more by such inciting dialogues.
         Once Jack and Tim decided to meet and sort issues. Finally, they both realised that they fought over a devil, a sadist. They even agreed that they endured turmoil for the most worthless a human being. The worst part is that, the damage was such that both lost trust over each other. It was too late, because of mistrust each one would doubt his equation with Jina.
    Jack found Jina to be characterless by her actions, being with someone else, she would silently try to forge very strong ties with someone outside, she never cared about anyone else except herself.
It is better to be beware of sadists than getting trapped by their sweet talks and misleading accusations to garner sympathy.Jack and Tim have been separated, but the sadist roams about freely having destroyed everything in her path!

GOOD DAY TO ALL OF YOU.
       
             
                  

Ravaging Love-THE END

                                                                                                                         Read Part 02

                                                                   

                      He lay bare, his wounds were ostentatiously painful. People around him could sense the kind of indifference he had towards himself. What had he done.?He tried to enter into a hole, a black hole which was a trap.What was she doing(nobody including herself were not sure of this)?
  In this whole confusion, Jack was the sufferer, partly he was to be blamed for trusting her in a short span of time. He craved for answers and the answer was quite simple, that she was a perplexed human being. A damsel in distress manipulated by the right person for his own ulterior motives. Somebody said, feelings induce weakness and here was an apt example of it, letting oneself bare and open for someone to manoeuvre her life.Yes, you guessed it right, someone else was driving Lucy's car.Jack wasnt bothered who it was but the motives were very clear that somebody wanted to create disturbances in the lake Jack and Lucy were comfortable floating in. For all Jack knew, he did not expect such a rough and unforgiving behaviour from her.
       For Jack, at this juncture, time had passed and it was too late to accept Lucy as a friend. His mind and his heart were at loggerheads. He never wanted enmity with anyone. What should he have done? Should he forgive her and accept her as a friend? She managed to remove the element of trust from their friendship. For him it was done and dusted but some part in him said "let go" events of the past. given a chance people do improve.
      "Improvement" was the last thing he should have expected in this case. Making best of the confusion was what Lucy knew very well.  Some wounds are better untouched but Lucy, never left a stone unturned to weaken him each time with a flashback of all that had happened and by dragging her past into the scene more and more. While Jack let go her for her mistakes, she was busy deciding the best choice for her life. She was so whimsical that someday Jack would bring about green lights while some other day, it would be her past. She was trying to act as a puppeteer and Jack and the other guy were supposed to be her marionettes.
   Jack was getting bruised each time he saw such unjust things happening in front of him. He chose to opt out of this tirelessly painful friendship and once and for all finished it with her.
. He underwent a lot of turmoil in all this, his rational self was proved wrong when she did not mend her ways. It was painful but he still had expected things with her to improve for the better. Isn't it painful to have expectation inspite of truth pointing in the other direction? In this whole process a lot of bitter words were exchanged and there prevailed a lot of ill-will.
      Jack's life was never the same after this. He never had the time to experience what he had been through. Things were fast-paced and damaging. A man must be judged when the grass is green in his pasture and Lucy "outperformed" by damaging everybody in the process. What she got out of it?Nothing. What had this whole incident done?
It had ravaged Jack and ripped him apart with wounds which only time could fill...or could it?
What is love if it is so ravaging and wild? 

Ravaging Love-The Damage.

   Read part 01       

              ...she was his destiny...Jack had a narrow vision..all he could see is her attention..which was slowly fading away...Jack was a passionate man. He had great conviction to keep her happy. Lucy was rethinking her decision...what held her back?What made her so attached to her ravaging past? Did she not want him?What did she want?
     Lucy had put herself and Jack in a labyrinth. She wanted Jack to shower full attention on her..treat her like a princess and at the same time she did not want anything formal. What was she upto?She wanted Jack and she did not want him at the same time. Days went by and the fading away of the attention was so gradual that Jack couldnt question her. Jack was gradually becoming a victim of his own feelings towards her. Even before he could experience the joy of love, he was being subjected to a tortuous path laden with thorns. Each thorn pricked him so badly that they punctured his heart. Jack was a determined man, he had ambitions and to his hard luck, Lucy, the friend who often featured in his good books, a friend whom he shared everything with, was turning the tables against him. He was totally dismayed. This is the last thing he could have expected of Lucy in his life after having supported her in her bad times.
     On one hand his personal life was taking a toll on his mind and on the other hand he had to battle the looming examinations which was just a week  away."Time" and "girl" make or break a man's life and future and as of now, both had given up on him. Gloomy thoughts made Jack evaluate mistakes which he hadn't even done. What did Lucy do? She had left him completely deserted amidst a sandstorm which she herself had blown for Jack. What was the purpose of all this?Was Lucy sadistic?
     One fine day, Lucy had pinged Jack to say that everything was "over" between them. There was nothing formal between them, so Lucy could make use of this confusion by not mentioning whether she was talking about friendship or something else. Jack was totally down. He was suffering for no reason. For the first time in life he had felt for someone, and this is what he got.
     He somehow wanted to get out of this quagmire and the more he thought of escaping, the more he was drawn into the labyrinth. The last words heard from Lucy were, "You mean nothing to me..I have got him back..I was totally blindfolded in thinking of being with a person like you"..He was ripped apart...his heart shatrtered to pieces.. He could not make any sense of it..He diverted himself with great difficulty by studying for the upcoming exams. As things were not making sense, he atleast thought of making sense by faring well in the upcoming exams.
     After about 2 months, he saw a message flashing on his mobile. It was an unknown number, all he could read is a big 'sorry' and a feeling of regret for all that had happened.  He need not lookup in any directory or for that matter even ask the person his/her identity. She wanted to apologise..but for what?for all the mess she created?
   She wanted to resume 'friendship' with Jack. Friendship in this context is so flexible that it was used by her to indicate a pseudo-relationship i.e a relationship where Jack is something more than a friend but less than a boyfriend.
   Jack was stumped. He was left astonished at she coming back to him after such a bitter exchange of words.  Things were only getting too complicated..but there was a solution which Jack was blinded from...he still had some affinity for her..she too had it..but she had options..she was spoilt by options while he never did so..
Jack waited for answers..WHY ALL THIS? was something he wanted to know..
                                                                                                                               PART3

Ravaging love!

PART-01

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       He had never harboured any feelings for a girl while she wasn't alien to harbouring feelings for a boy. She was opportunistic, he was shy. She was shrewdly expressive, he choose to be foolishly silent and dumped his feelings for anyone. He was a great man with many qualities of a gentleman while she was the only one who could understand his heart's predicament of being coy. He never approached her, she did.
        Lucy was already committed to a person who was unforgivingly taking advantage of her. She had feelings which she had to be accountable to. Leaving him wasn't an option but staying with him wasn't working out either. Her quandary was complex for which she had no solution. People who mattered to her the most had asked her to just leave him for his rummaging behaviour. She could not, she wanted someone else to replace the resulting void.
            Jack was a person of gentle nature and chose to be under the covers. Jack and Lucy were in the same class. Jack and Lucy had many things in common and they became good pals. Jack, owing to his nature knew one thing for sure that he must never cross the line. Lucy on the other hand wanted to somehow end her nerve-wrecking relationship with her boyfriend...afterall she was opportunistic.
           She played it well. Without Jack sensing the breeze of she coming close to him each day, she made sure to impress Jack by her nature of understanding every aspect of his. Afterall, she was a 'good friend' of Jack. Jack was too oblivious to all this and he somehow enjoyed somebody caring for him this way for the first time. By virtue of his nature, he would make sure that he always respected Lucy in every possible manner(as he did with other women). Lucy was beginning to enjoy the unfettered attention she got and she made herself feel special. They would often talk about their views on life, interests and they seemed to strike a cord with each other.
      Jack couldn't sense what it was. He still considered Lucy to be his very good friend. For him, sharing and caring was restricted to 'friendship'. Being a slave to her own feelings, Lucy couldnt withhold herself from expressing it to Jack. Jack needed time, he would take time but come up with rational decisions. He always thought about the future. He did not want to hurt Lucy.
    Lucy was getting impatient with each passing day. Time was flowing by and JAck was still pondering. After about a 20 days Jack said 'yes'. Things did go well but Jack observed one thing about her, she was pretty negative. She always thought of being alone but she had feelings for him. She also had feelings for her ex-boyfriend. Can a girl feel for two people at a time? the answer is pretty clear. Owing to the long  time Jack took, she got an option to evaluate her proposal Such was her confusion, she was playing with herself.
    Jack unconditionally loved her. It was his nature to fulfill every commitment of his. He meant what he spoke and he tried to keep her as happy as possible. But isn't a man spoilt by choices...she enjoyed being with him....but wanted some more events to spice up her life..he was enamored by her nature..he was intensely involved with her..he craved for her..he thought she was it..she was his destiny..

The sound of silence

               She was petite and vivacious. She never spoke much but her eyes conveyed it all. Meet Priya, a 22 year old teenage girl stuck in the whirlpool of perplexities. At this age, it is pretty common to get confused and to find things enticing. She had just graduated and found herself a decent job.She preferred the company of books rather than people. WHen she was with a book, it was an outpour of all that had happened in her life. Such was the love for books that she was ready to make reading as her profession rather than anything else. Bitten by fear of finding herself nowhere, she chose to keep this wish in the box and took up a job with a reknowned IT firm.
   Raj too was in the same company. He was an assertive, expressive guy who wouldn't hesitate to go ahead and voice his opinions. Infact, he would be ready on one leg for stage performances and taking up initiatives.He was a garrulous person and sometimes, he would be over-expressive and modest by asking others to excuse him for being so. He had certain people in his life who were 'prone' to his habit of being this way. They knew one thing that he would not hesitate a moment to help them and hence let go all of his habits of being over-expressive and too true.
     It was day 1, Raj was excited for getting a job of his interest while Priya was excited for the uncertainties which this job had to offer.  Raj was a focussed guy, his main ambition was spawning something innovative for the society to use. He wanted to use his knowledge for the betterment of the society and this being his first professional endeavour, he was in a paradise. There was something about Priya which often enticed him, he found her to emit an aura which struck him. Raj was an exception to his own personality when going ahead and talking to a girl. He was conceived to be a shy person with a  foreboding instinct. He would be defiant to his own feelings and never initiate a conversation with her.
     Priya was an ambiguous personality, Raj never found her being garrulous to people outside her set of friends. Like Priya, Raj too read a lot of books; infact he loved being in the company of books rather than his friends but just unlike Priya there were other things he loved apart from books.
  One fine day, as he finally garnered the guts to talk to her, he started walking where she stood. Just when he was about to reach her there came this voice, "Hey whats up Priya, hope things are going good."He immediately changed his track and went on to some other work. This happened umpteen times.

   It was almost a month and nothing had happened. It was a day when rain God had dominated the earth when he was walking home. Drenched in  his own directionless and confused thoughts, he noticed her to be walking on the other side of the road alone. He mustered courage and said, "Hi I am Raj, your good name?"there were sirens and drums beating inside him. "I am Priya",she said. Raj said, "could we go to the station together if you dont mind?"she did agree but with an silent appeal to be left alone. All along the journey she never looked at him but choose to stare her flickering mobile screen. Once when their glances met(for quite an amount of time), Raj could see something more to it than what it was. Raj sensed that she knew that Raj had liked her but wished to play careful by not leaving any hints outwardly. That one glance and he could see an ocean of emotions in her just like a book which is so silent but has volumes to speak to the reader on being read; emotions which are of a grandiose magnitude to be expressed requires something more than speech and confessions. Raj could understand it all but his shyness and premonitions never allowed him to understand what is to be understood. He, inspite of being so open to the outer world, was just finding avenues to prove that what he was seeing is not what he should perceive.
 
 Though they had so many common things to talk about, he could not just not talk, but that one glance spoke so much about her own inhibitions. He had his own interpretation of that look..
"Look, there is something but I am not the one who approach people. Dont mistake me for being egoistical. I am really struck by your persona but require time.This is something I could hide from you by speech but my eyes fail to do so.. I hope you understand.."
 Hadn't her silence spoken volumes?
Isn't there a sound to silence?What do you think?

Betrayed!

      " Conflagrating forests, starving friends,mass destruction; many of my friends were bludgeoned to death. He brought me to a house which had four walls. A restricted area; these "people" prefer themselves to be engulfed by the walls they build on their own. They call my house a kennel. They fascinatingly coin a term for just everything so that they could blurt it out when amongst other people to show their knowledge. My owner had taken me to a party once and there he was apparently ranting about all the complexities involved in keeping me alive and the associated expenses. Well, Mr Owner, do you know how much expensive it is to the nature to hold you? These people are the greatest irony, they want restricted areas to live but unrestricted imagination,ultimate security for themselves at the cost of insecurity of a many, want to be titled the most intelligent creatures of this earth but doing insane acts like devaluing emotions, they create huge structures but small hearts.
    You might wonder why am I on a tirade mode today. While I tell you I might be breathing the last few breaths of my life, I just hope Ill be able to complete."

    "Servitude had been always been in my veins. mind you servitude with loyalty of the purest form.Once he took me to the beach near my house. They have intelligently coined a term for this too named it after some human as if they were the owners of everything. They forget that this world is cohabited with so many creatures far greater than the population of theirs. They want dominance. Anyways,coming back to my point, he took me there and promised to come back to me after running an errand. Guess what, he never came back, he left me languishing there at the mercy of the tides which struck black and blue. It was a rainy day and I somehow managed and slipped my feet out of that place. I was a well groomed dog with bushy hair and wonderful eyes; it made me wonder, have humans lost respect for beauty? the object which they persuade for all the pleasures they desire? Freedom of speech is what they sponsor but when I barked in the night in one of the streets helplessly making an appeal to my master to come back, I was subject to tyranny.You play music at night loudly its okay, cant I be expressive and call out to my master? They injected me with some chemical and made me unconscious. As  they took me to a "hospital", someone blurted "What a nuisance, but because these creatures exist we are having our job". I couldn't believe it, the cheap mentality they have.They seem to be the epitome of selfishness. Look at me, I, notwithstanding the jeopardy to my life,  serve my master ready to even fight a tiger knowing that I am bound to loose. Will he do that for me?"
       "Said enough? well, yes..I dont think what these people are upto is intelligence in any sense..as they left me deserted and at the mercy of God, one day, in one birth, their soul will experience the same and then they will come to know the grief which one has to undergo.", as he said all this, he passed away and the doctors failed in their half hearted attempt to save him.The doctors tried only because they were bound by some law of the land against cruelty "but who is bothered, arent so many humans loosing their lives, we arent able to save them, why to save dogs?"said one doctor and got back to his work.
Ever imagined what animals could have told us? If we have violence, lack of peace as our problems being from the same race, they have greater things to rant about. We must let everyone have their space in life. Let us keep upto our intelligence and contribute to the well being of those wonderful souls out there.

I would like to end this blog on a quote
"Save a life, be it human or any other for the soul that lives is nothing but the energy which is oblivious to the form"
/*on a lighter note, excuse the grammatical errors, its a dog's speech afterall..:p*/
Good day to all of you!

The Last Wish

             Ryan was a singing prodigy.At the age of 7 his baritones would be the most melodious. He belonged to a middle class family and his father was a normal 9-5 office goer.  "Dad, cant we raise ourselves above this banal job. How do you work, I can hardly manage to be a witness to what you do"said Ryan, to this his father would reply "Son, my life has passed in this manner. I think God has given us enough to eat and sleep and we must be thankful for these instead of cribbing about what we dont have." Ryan was a believer of this thought 'We are only limited by the limits we set' and quite lugubriously he would discard his father's contentedness with such a life.
      Inspite of differences in opinion, Ryan always adored his father. He always looked upto him for advice, his dad was a role model for him. He had often heard people saying,  "Your dad is a great learned man and and so many of us look upto him for advises". This nourished Ryan's respect for his dad. He would inform his dad about all the accolades he always got. In class 7, he won the first prize in singing in the state level.Later on, in class 10, he got an offer for playback singing for a film. He would often be dismayed that his dad would never truly appreciate and consolidate for his achievements. This pinched him and he lay bare and incomplete albeit with all the achievements he had. He was never totally contended.
      Ryan often went out with his father for many social gatherings. There they met myriad people and he noticed one peculiar thing. His dad would be the one who showered numerous adjectives in praise of his friends whose achievements were not that great as his. He was always dismayed at all he saw. He would be pensive and  wondered "Why doesn't dad praise me and why is he so extrovert in this aspect with others." He felt wretched and shed tears but to no avail.He neither wanted to ask his dad and then superficially and forcefully gain praises from him. He wanted his dad to be open to him from his heart.
      Time passed by, but his expectations always remained unfulfilled. He became a great playback singer and was approached for majority of films for his melodious voice. He was adulated by many but none of them ever bought him the boundless joy which he wanted to experience.He had all the success and money to his credit. He rose above banality and did something which got him and his family fame. His father would be accosted by random people to shower praises about his son. What his father replied was a mystery for him.
    Ryan was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer at the age of 34 and doctors had already surrendered him to the mercy of Lord. When he lay at the hospital, his dad came to him and said,
 "Son, it is a matter of greatest disgrace for a father to see his son give up his life infront of his eyes.I remember the days when you took your first steps.My elation knew no bounds when you won a playback offer in 10th grade.I remember how I scolded you to study well and my little genius managed everything perfectly.Now, I remember the days when I admonished you for small things; I dont regret that for these admonitions never let you stray from your path. but it makes me nostalgic.I considered myself to be stone hearted but this day I lay bare with emotions. Dear, you have melted the stone in me. You know, when people accost me anywhere, they address me as Ryan's father. Tell me dear son, what could a father demand more from a son. Its a matter of pride my dear, you have done what I could never do. Son, I am proud of you. "
(after this long speech his father started crying..it was like he somehow managed his fluid speech to convey whatever he had to)
"Daddy, daddy......."Ryan was panting and he had to be urgently taken to the ICU. "Sir he is in a critical condition", blurted one of the doctors.Ryan held his breath till he could see his dad for one moment and complete his words. He requested the doctors to call his dad inside and they did so.
"Dad all these years, inspite of my achievements, I always had a sense of incompleteness. The whole world adulated me for my talent and skills but I only wanted one person to shower praises for feeling happy and contended to the fullest. I always craved for your praises and encouragement and today when I am in the arms of death I seem to be getting it....Dad.....dad..."Ryan was on the cliff of loosing his life"Thank you dad..you...you...fulfilled my...MY LAST WISH". On that terrible night which his father never forgot, Ryan had been launched into eternity.
     One fine day,in the quest to find his son in the stars, his father gazed above in the sky and spotted one bright star and said "Son, I wanted you to keep going all way and not become stagnant by the praises which I could have given. I hope you understand"..the star twinkled...   

Unexpressed!

                 "I am Maya" were the first words Rakesh had heard from her. In a class of 40, he found her to be a bit different from others. In what way, he himself could not fathom. Rakesh had only known that women were  "different kind" of beings than men in that they had long hair and often had some adjective called "beautiful" associated with them. He was pretty innocent, being in standard 9.
            Maya too had a similar reaction like him. While he was introducing himself, he became the victim of Maya's unflickering stare.He did not know about this . Both of them were in oblivion regarding their feelings towards each other(it was still nascent).  Rakesh and Maya could not fathom  this alien link which they shared.Nevertheless, they enjoyed this world of acknowledged silence. In their silence lay tons of messages yet to be decoded.
       They matched gazes and stole glances at each other increasingly with time. They had a wish to be inconspicuous to the whole world but still conspicuous w.r.t each other.
   One year passed by in similar fashion and nothing had changed. Words were not given its due importance to their relationship yet. Rakesh was hesitant even to go and talk to her. Maya was tired of these things but at the same time wanted to be expressive about this to her friends. One fine day she blushed in front of her friends when they took his name. She inadvertently said , "I and Rakesh are committed". She learnt this from one of her elder siblings who would often talk about commitment and marriage. When she heard her sister say this she could somehow feel good about Rakesh taking the place of the man she wants to get committed to.
     Maya's unrequited commitment statement was something which even Rakesh did not know. Rakesh was taken aback when one of their mutual friends pulled his leg by stating what Maya had told her friends. He did not respond to this comment and only expressed his oblivion regarding this. Perhaps, he was feeling elated from inside that someone liked him that way but he hadn't realised what it actually is. He just wanted to avoid all "this".

   Then came standard XI, where people face a paradime shift from school life to college life.Rakesh had tacitly hoped that Maya would not be a part of this college for them to match gazes and steal glances at each other. Perhaps he did not want to acknowledge his abstract emotions or his feelings were yet too immature to understand all this. Some part of him clearly asserted that she be away from this college for the better.
    He was confidently striding towards the gate of his college when he saw her entering with him. The gate was narrow so he could clearly make out who she was even in the foggy atmosphere. It was Maya and now he was in an uncomfortable position and clearly did not know whether to greet her or not. He somehow did not want to acknowledge her presence. She too had similar thoughts. She was feeling her heart-beats rising and the better of her asked her to keep words at bay. "Why did she come here man", Rakesh told one of his friends."Don't worry Rakesh, Just a matter of two years. Just don't pay much attention and do your job"blurted one of his friends.

      They were placed in different classes and that put Rakesh at ease. It made things difficult for Maya because she always wanted to see him once in a while. She managed to make some friends in Rakesh's class and somehow managed to give her eyes a feast atleast once by dropping by his class during lunch breaks. Rakesh would gush out of the class when he noticed her.
    Two years passed by and they never crossed their ways after junior college. One fine day, one of their mutual friends informed Rakesh about her tying the nuptial knot with some guy. Rakesh was happy that this happened but he still wasnt sure about his own feelings all these years. What was it that lay unexpressed all the time?